It's going to be legen...wait for it...DARY!

Lately, I've had a series of annoying age-related realizations.  I'll spare you the details, because they likely fall into the category of "TMI,"  but I won't spare you the effects of said realizations.  Because they are--like I said--LEGENDARY.

Here's the deal:  if I don't change something quick, my pancreas is going to blow out like an overworked tire and I'll end up turning into a Meegan-shaped pile of sugar long before Jamie graduates from high school.  This isn't good.  So, in a nutshell, I've decided that--against my own better judgement--I am going to run in some sort of K race on or around my birthday.

However, I hate commitments.  Also, I'm pretty sure that I look like this when I run:

To avoid all of that, I decided to make up my own event.  And so, I am proud to announce the...

First Annual 

Guy Fleegman Run for Your Life

(or walk.  whatever.  it's your life.)

Here's how it will work:

1.  Decide you're going to participate.
2.  Wake up on Sep. 22nd.
3.  Going for a run.  Or a walk.  You decide where and how far.

Now, it's been pointed out to me that one of the reasons people participate in these crazy things (when staying at home and eating donuts is so much more inviting) is for the t-shirt, so I added a few more instructions:

2a.  Get out your red shirt and a sharpie.  The shirt HAS to be red.  In the spirit of Crewman Number Six(es) everywhere.
2b.  Write, "First Annual Guy Fleegman Run For Your Life, 2012" on the front and "I'm the plucky comic relief" on the back.

Also, as it will be Brianna's 15th birthday (one of the age-related realizations that freaked me out), I added yet ANOTHER instruction.  I know, this is getting WAY too complicated, but here it is:

4.  Eat a piece of cake and think about how this is the last year that Monna and Casey don't have to worry about living with a teenage driver.

Guys!!!!!  This will be awesome!  There will be literally three or four of us, dressed in our awesome red shirts (for unity!), from all four corners of Utah running for our lives.

To indicate your participation, text or email me the phrase, "By Grabthar's hammer, I WILL RUN IT!"

And if you missed the link the first time, here it is again for your viewing pleasure:

click on the dang link, already!

The month in review

Just after Thanksgiving, I started interviewing for a house helper.  Several mischievous shelf-dwelling elves applied for the position, but I didn't think our boys needed any ideas.  Fortunately, this guy turned up and saved the day.  He is...the Alfred Family's Sneaky Snowman:

The weather has been unseasonably pleasant so far this winter...as long as by "pleasant," you mean "sunny," and don't care that the temperature never breaks thirty.  There hasn't been much snow, either--can I get a hallelujah?  It was causing Elijah much stress, though, so the snowman brought us a personal snow storm...

a million space bucks if you can figure out why Ethan dubbed these "Nerd Flakes"

The Sneaky Snowman also went all Highlander on the fridge snowman (there can be only one!) and left, in its place, a massive Christmas present, complete with ribbons and bows.  And, in what is clearly an example of going the second mile, he spared the boys from a long and painful death at the hands of their Evil Stepmother by cleaning their room (there was UNDERWEAR--dirty, of course--in the legos.  Seriously.  Boys.  The hamper is three feet away).

On Ethan's birthday, he made dessert sushi.  Ethan is a sushi FREAK.  Note:  the snowman reports that sushi is not as easy to make as it looks, even when the sticky rice is rice krispy treat.

Speaking of Ethan's birthday, most of you know he turned twelve this year.  This means, of course, that he has blown out the candles on twelve birthday cakes.  At this point, you'd think he would have the routine down.  Shockingly, not so much.  I set the cake down in front of him, and he blew out the candles before we could sing.  Facepalm.

I love that little space cadet.  He did SO well passing the sacrament--I was massively proud of him.  He didn't drop anything or whack anyone on the back of the head with a tray, which I consider a major victory for a kid who routinely walks into closed doors due to his poor situational awareness.

Anyhoo, the snowman wreaked pleasant havoc for the month.  I think he'll stick around until the new year, as the boys are missing the last few days of his awesomeness while they are at their mom's for Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas, it took awhile, but Gabriel finally got into the Christmas groove...about the time Jamie woke up and we opened her presents:

Not that Jamie really cared...she found the wrapping paper cast offs and the rest was history.

One of Jamie's gifts is a Baby Prison.  To me, it was the most awesome puzzle ever and I was about to put it together when Jon and Gabriel realized that for me to do the honors would be an threat to their manhood.

Are you ready for some awesomeness?  The Mirror Alfreds gave this to Gabriel.  I'm pretty sure it's intended to be a cape for HIM, but Gabriel seems to think that I'm supposed to wear it and chase him around whilst roaring like a dinosaur.  Either way, it's the cutest flipping cape EVER:

I don't know WHY Gabriel is scared to go in his tent...

His man-eating dinosaur tent.  Hmmm....when you put the facts together, it's not that startling.

And finally, I give you reason #132 why we freak out the neighbors:

Most voyeurs go for subtle.  Not us.  At our house, we're all, "We saw what you did last night, sickos, and we aren't going to hide it."

Merry Christmas.