Letters to the universe

In an attempt to be trendy, I offer you...THIS.

Dear Guy in the Elevator Before Us,

If I can taste your aftershave/cologne and you are nowhere to be seen, you're wearing too much. Trust me. Dial it back a notch.

Thanks,

Meegan "it's a good thing I wasn't pregnant or I would have yakked all over the place" Alfred



Dear Muffin Person,

Thank you for helping me learn about myself yesterday. I now know that I will eat anything dropped off on my porch without knowing where it came from. Here's to hoping you aren't a vengeful pyscho out to get me.

Sincerely,

Meegan "SNARF" Alfred

PS--the pumpkin chocolate chip muffins were great. And so far, no apparent food poisoning!


Dear Anyone With a Y Chromosome,

Whatever it is you're looking for, I promise you're looking right at it. But if it would help, I'm more than happy to come point at it so you can see it.

Love,

Meegan "IT'S RIGHT THERE!!!" Alfred


Dear Innocent Delivery Guys,

The next time you ring the doorbell right when I get Gabe calmed down enough to nurse, I swear I'll let Dharma eat your face.

No hard feelings,

Meegan "are you kidding me?" Alfred