My mom has a great eye for decorating. She ALSO has the disgusting ability to skillfully execute her ideas...at least, it's disgusting to those of us still trying (and failing) to tie bows that don't come out looking like snarls.
(Explanation of the bow irritation: I'm in charge of the PTA bulletin board at school, and it took me FOREVER to tie a bow for the present on the Christmas board...and in the end it was mostly just stapled to ***look*** like a bow. But I digress.)
Back on track. I didn't inherit Mom's mad skills. I can't arrange flowers or decorate cakes, and I DEFINITELY can't tie a decorative bow. I didn't get her cute nose and perfect toes, either..curse you, FrankenToes!!!!
So life's pretty good. We decorated the tree tonight. I think I stress too much about things that aren't very important. For example, I'm kinda bothered that our tree clearly illustrates the theme, "A Toddler Lives Here," as seen below:
If you look carefully, you can CLEARLY see just how far Gabriel can reach. For those of you who can't, here's a helpful photo edit (please note the tree is currently bow-free. I haven't finished wrestling with the new blue and silver snarls. I mean bows):
We didn't even finish decorating before I gave up on the pipe dream that I would be able to keep Gabriel away from the shiny stuff. But now that I've had time to bemoan my tree (yeah...shallow), I've decided that I would far rather have a toddler-friendly (if slightly goofy-looking) tree and a Gabriel than a beautiful tree with no Gabriel. So things balance out. Besides, it's not just Gabriel who wreaks havoc on our Christmas decorations. For example:
It's a Jurassic Christmas!
Those poor villagers...MWAH HA HA HA HA!
In other news, Jon and I have taken to torturing the boys, at least to hear them tell it. OH YEAH! It's all part of our intricate plot to lighten Santa's payload this year:
I only WISH that was a staged picture...they were literally bracing themselves to choke down dinner. Granted, it was tomato soup, but still...har har har, you're welcome!
To sum things up:
1. Mom, you are amazingly talented. Also, thanks for being so patient with all of us Tree Destroyers, as I'm sure this isn't a unique occurrence.
2. Living with little boys is hysterical. You just have to take Ferris Bueller's advice: life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop to look around once in a while, you could miss it.
Trust me, the camera DIDN'T do justice to the level of noise they were producing. But they were happy and, with any luck, helping Gabriel burn some energy so he'll go to bed before midnight. Most importantly, they are proof that it's possible to have healthy and happy blended families.
Peace out!
PS--You know what's a pleasant surprise? Turning around to yell at some weirdo lady messing with your baby in the check out line at WalMart, only to find out it was Maggie/Kat. I have family in Logan--YAY!!!!
Being awesome. And interviewed by various newspaper-type people for special interest pieces.
We (by "we," I mean "he," but since I edit his papers, I'm sticking with "we") are also starting to submit applications for various PhD programs...the first was sent this very weekend to Texas A&M, otherwise know as "the Aggies with a good football team." Texas A&M is located in the thriving metropolis of College Station, TX, which is found in--and I know this thanks to Google Maps--Texas. Kind of by Houston. Also Waco.
We (heh heh) are also applying at Ohio State (in Columbus), Kansas State (in Manhattan...no, not that one, the LITTLE one. In Kansas.), and a school in Tennessee that is a late addition and, as a result, I don't know it's name. I think it might be in Nashville. But, no matter how you look at it, our days in Utah are numbered, because I am going to be optimistic about Jon being accepted AND funded...he tends to be both more self-deprecating AND pessimistic.
After careful research, I've compiled this list of facts to help in our decision making process:
Texas A&M
PROS: it's warm; it has THREE state mammals: large, small, and flying. For your information, they are: Texas longhorn, armadillo, free-tailed bat. I bet every kid on a soccer team gets a trophy, too (although that's a con, if you ask me).
CONS: It's no longer the largest state. Stupid Alaska. Although I think its probably big enough to keep Ethan and Elijah far enough away from each other to prevent fighting. Probably.
Kansas State
PROS: It's the home of the first chain restaurant, the Harvey House, which inspired the movie "Harvey Girls" starring Liza Minnelli, who uttered the famous line, "I'm waiting for a man to swoop down like a chicken hawk and carry me away."
CONS: A house might drop on me; it's illegal to shoot rabbits from a motorboat (and everyone knows that rabbits are the terrors of the high seas).
Ohio State
PROS: I'd be close to Lisa (this counts as about 500 "pros")
KHAAAAAAAAAAN! (snicker): It's in Columbus, which is the Ogden of Ohio, as nearly as I can tell.
The school in Tennessee, which Jon (after looking over my shoulder) informed me is the University of Tennesse (Knoxville)
PROS: It's relatively close to Lisa (especially compared to Utah), having to hear "y'all" every other sentence (I thought Jon should have some input)
CONS: humidity, having to hear "y'all" every other sentence (Jon is wrong)
In the end, we'll go wherever the Lord leads us (by way of funding) and everything will work out for our good. After all, I really DIDN'T want to move to Logan, and now we LOVE it here, and find ourselves hoping that Jon magically gets hired on here so we can stay...so, SEE how the Lord knows what's best for us?
Regardless, keep your fingers crossed for us...and I'm sure everyone will hear where we end up as soon as we know...in March. ARGH, I hate waiting.
And so you know, Jon did a GREAT job at the museum.
Is it just me, or does that title sound like some crazy street name for a drug?
Moving on. The alternate title for this post is "Halloween, part 4," because like the horror movies of the same name, Halloween this year NEVER SEEMS TO END, although the events chronicled in this post are much less terror-inspiring, unless you are filled with horror by cow dung on your shoes.
(This post will be mostly pictures because that will save me many thousands of words.)
Jon and I decided to try something different with the Halloween candy this year. Usually, we are Candy Nazis...which is great until you realize that their Halloween candy runs out about the time it's replaced by Christmas stocking, which runs out about the time that it's replaced by Easter basket...candy year round! Ugh. So this year, we're trying the "OD for a few days" candy theory. For Ethan, that looks like this:
A sucker or two during homework. Very controlled, no noticeable sugar crash a few hours later. His candy will STILL be around on Christmas. Elijah, on the other hand, looks like this:
Can you SEE the crazy sugar rush going on there? Yeah. His candy has been pretty well picked over already.
Gabriel, obviously, doesn't have this problem (yet)...his eating habits learn towards other issues:
Related story: in addition to the word "doggie," Gabriel learned that when he says "doggie" while in his high chair, Dharma will come over and conveniently finish off any unwanted food. Again I say, everything's cute the first time. Including this...
..unless you're Ethan, who was trying to take a private shower on the other side of the door. He wasn't too thrilled that Gabriel learned how to open a closed door. I won't be tomorrow, either, I imagine...
But enough about food. Today, the mirror-Alfreds invited us to the pumpkin blow. (heh heh heh).
This is me following them while they followed another family from our ward who didn't know the fastest way to get there:
See those names on the sign? Yeah, those are towns in IDAHO. We went to IDAHO for PUMPKIN BLOW. (OK, I don't know why I think that's so funny. Also, I don't know why I can't get this text to be right justified, but I give up on that one.)
This is a train we passed while wandering around looking for the pumpkin blow.
This is Gabriel wishing I would quit being distracted by passing dust motes and/or trains and pay attention to the road.
When we finally found the pumpkin blow (snicker), this is what we saw.
Dozens, possibly hundreds, of people surrounding a field, at the center of which was a huge pile of past-their-prime jack-o'-lanterns and a very manly rancher-type guy who actually said the following, loosely quoted:
"Welcome to the pumpkin blow. We don't advertise, cuz we don't want no government interference."
Then the manly rancher-type shot a rifle at the pumpkin pile, and...
Well, the pile...it BLEW. Sorry I didn't get the moment of explosion; the dynomite exploding was rather loud and I was trying to cover Gabey's ears. But I did get this shot:
Elijah and mirror-Elijah standing in the hole created by the exploding TNT. Not too shabby, eh? Neither is this:
Elijah realizing that he's standing in more than just blown up pumpkin. Mwah ha ha ha ha. For those of you wondering where Ethan was, the answer is "sick at home with Jon." The poor kid religiously takes vitamin C drops, and he's the only one who ever gets sick. Now that's irony.
All in all, the pumpkin blow was highly entertaining, although it did leave me craving a Twinkie (snicker...oooo...Snickers...that sounds good, too...). Anyhoo, if you're ever in rural Idaho and manage to escape the compound, I recommend it.
Before I go, a gratuitous baby picture:
How. Cute. Are. They. Also cute: Gabriel coloring on the walls, but only because it was the first time. Tomorrow, not so much. Thank heavens for the magic eraser...
And one more:
Now we call him Lurch.
And if you're looking for another blog to stalk, try this one--it's mirror-Jon's. It's interactive...and how often do you get to tell a blogger what to write?
Jon made his famous flaming pumpkins, terrifying the neighbors and instigating this conversation yet again. This year, however, Jon and Elijah unwittingly carved pumpkins to represent the both of us; I'll let you guess who's who:
Note the highly flammable weeds, err, cornstalks
Here's a wide shot of the driveway....
Note that the Montero is parked in the fire-ready position, albeit on the wrong side of the fire.
Sadly, it was raining, which put a damper on both the pumpkins and the trick or treaters...but not before the new French (really) neighbors stopped by to be amazed by the limitless American taste for shock and awe.
Fortunately, here in Mormondom, the uber-Christian holiday that is Halloween has been stretched out over three days. Because it falls on a Sunday. Am I the only one who sees the irony here??? Anyhoo, this meant the boys got to trunk or treat...then trick or treat...and then trick or treat AGAIN with their mother, who is in town this weekend. I'm done with Halloween, by the way...
At the trunk or treat: Yoda, Apollo, Skeletor. Obviously, not the blue one. A different one.
Look at Gabriel's hand. Now:
Gabriel: You want to take this stupid hat off of me.
Jon: I want to take this stupid hat off of you.
Gabriel: You want to wear the stupid hat.
Jon: I want to wear the stupid hat.
Gabriel: You don't mind if I sleep in your bed and kick you in the kidneys all night.
Jon: I don't mind if you sleep in my bed and kick me in the kidneys all night.
Let's see...what else happened this weekend....
Oh! I present to you....Gabriel's first word (outside of mama and dada):
A quick word of explanation: it took me about a zillion takes to figure out why my camera was, mysteriously, not focusing (answer: it was. on the supermacro level). At any rate, Gabriel was DONE telling us that Dharma is a doggie...hence the disgust as he turned away from Jon. In fact, I think that, had his spoken vocabulary been able to support it, his answer to Jon's question would have been more like, "It's a dog. Sheesh. I've told you that a thousand times. You guys are morons. I'm going to go read a book."
And now, I'm going to go play with the older boys, who just got back from spending the weekend with their mother (who had them steal pillowcases from the hotel she was staying at to trick or treat with. Because you can't get bags for a buck at WalMart. FACEPALM!).
And, apparently, work on my "charity for all men" and "unexpressed thoughts."
