My appliances are out to get me

First it was my oven.

And the hot water heater (which is impossible to set at a lower setting) has been an on-going issue.

Now it's the dryer.

It tried to kill me.

I even had to call 911.

This picture doesn't really do it justice, though.  There were three (3) full-sized fire trucks, an ambulance, a motorcycle cop, a regular police car, and two smaller fire trucks.

Let me tell you, I feel safe here, especially now that my dryer is dead.  If only for the emergency response teams, I LOVE this town now.  (shocking confession:  even the weather has grown on me)

In a nutshell, I had just got off the phone with Jon when I heard a really suspicious and ominous noise coming from the dryer.  (SEE?  Housework CAN kill you!!!!)  Being a moron, I picked up Gabriel and went to see what the problem was.  Note to self:  next time there is an ominous noise in the house, DON'T TAKE THE BABY WITH when you investigate. 

The problem was that my dryer was apparently possessed by Gildar, the smoke and spark fire demon.  There were curtains of sparks shooting out the back of the dryer, and because it was BEHIND the dryer, the whole show was lit up against the wood-paneled wall like a firework display.   And let me tell you, sparks and the smoke they produce do NOT smell comforting.  So NOT like a campfire.

I grabbed my phone and ran for the hills.  Maybe I'm not brave, but I didn't even TRY to see what was causing it.  I just called 911 and hoped the sparks weren't catching onto the piles of kindling (dirty clothes CAN kill you!) and the dryer-lint-filled trash can nearby.

This was one heck of a learning experience, though.  This is what I learned:

1.  Our local response teams are QUICK.

2.  When told to evacuate a house after seeing my dryer come alive and try to kill me, I really didn't care about ANYTHING in the house except Gabriel.  If the boys had been at home, they would be on the list, too, but...sad admission...if things had gotten more serious the dogs wouldn't have survived.  Now, removed from it, I feel guilty about that, but at the time...not so much.  I didn't even grab my purse. 

3.  I really need to make a list of valuables in case we ever actually have to make an insurance claim.

4.  Druggie neighbors scatter when sirens roll up in front of their house.  (tangent:  our new neighbors hold raging keggers FREQUENTLY.  Jon finally lost his patience and went over at three in the morning to ask them to tone it down, only to find them all totally high.  He came back smelling like pot, which--let me tell you--started an interesting late-night conversation because I didn't even realize he left the house.)

5.  "There is no such thing as coincidence--only small miracles God doesn't take credit for." I was supposed to be grocery shopping, but got sidetracked.  I can't imagine what would have happened if I hadn't been here--or even upstairs, where I couldn't hear the noise.  Today goes on the list of times the Lord was watching out for me and mine--even though when push came to shove I didn't care about the STUFF, I'm glad I don't have to worry about buying new clothes for the boys.

6.  Have I mentioned I'm grateful that I was protected?  This could have ended A LOT worse--I'm just out a dryer and the house smells like acrid electical fire.  It didn't even spread from the dryer onto the piles of adjacent kindling or into the wall.  BLESSED, I TELL YOU!!!!!!

And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go eat a cake.  'Cause the adrenaline is wearing off and I'm a textbook comfort eater.