BLASPHEMY!

Once upon a time, I went to Disneyland with my sisters.  As we wandered about the park with a pair of two year olds and an infant, moving from churro stand to churro stand, Elise wisely noted that we go to Disneyland for the concessions.

It's true.  You name a Land, and I can tell you where to find a churro, a Godzilla-sized turkey leg, and/or an ice cream sandwich. 

I take food very seriously.

So you can imagine my shock and disgust when Jon said that some Easterners think that

White Castle

is better than

In N Out

 My response, naturally, was...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! That's not true!  It's impossible!

 After I recovered from my shock, I decided that, in the interest of open-mindedness and fairness, I needed to try it and see.


Fact:  Sulu went to White Castle.  With Kumar.

Fact:  I have never SEEN that movie, but for some unknowable reason, the fact of its existence is permanently embedded in my brain.  Unlike the password for my online banking OR the answers to the challenge questions.

Speaking of movies, for those of you who got the random Footloose text yesterday, let me explain.  The radio station was pretty much playing the Footloose soundtrack and I couldn't remember the name of the movie to save my life.  Of course, I could remember that it was filmed in Utah, that they played chicken on tractors, that  Kevin Bacon and John Lithgow were in it (important knowledge for you players of "Six Degrees to Kevin Bacon"), that the main actress was a slutty girl named Ariel, AND the lyrics to "Let's Hear it For the Boy."  But not the name of the movie.  Hence, the call for help.  It was driving my CRAZY.

Back on track.  I decided to try White Castle before judging, so I asked Jon to go there after leaving Graeter's frozen custard (Buckeye Blitz on a sugar cone.  Yum.)  See, I came all the way to Ohio and am focusing on the concessions. 

The results:

1.  White Castle sells onion rings.  Point to White Castle.
2.  It turns out they were actually onion CHIPS, so...half a point deduction from White Castle.
3.  In N Out is FASTER.  Point to In N Out.
4.  In N Out has a secret menu that makes you feel cool when you order off of it.  Point to In N Out.
5.  White Castle is CHEAP. Point to White Castle.
6.  In N Out burgers are life-sized OR LARGER.  Point to In N Out.
7.  In N Out has scripture references on their packaging.  A million points to In N Out.

It wasn't looking good for White Castle, but I hadn't tried the food yet.

Final verdict: EASTERNERS HAVE CLEARLY NOT HAD IN N OUT IF THEY THINK WHITE CASTLE IS BETTER.  It was good, but...it wasn't In N Out. n Sorry, White Castle.  You were pwned.

(Fact: the Olive Garden has NOTHING on Carrabba's.  But as those restaurants are not nearly as bad for you as a burger joint, I'm not nearly as passionate about it.)