heh. heh heh. aheh.

Sometimes, I really miss singing in a choir.



In case you, like me, missed the original, you can catch it here...just for comparison's sake.  What an odd woman.

heh.  heh heh.  aheh.

The one where I look smart because I include famous pieces of art

As you all know, I entered that new age bracket yesterday.  I have to admit, this one is freaking me out much more than the last one, but that's probably because the last time I hit a notable age milestone, I was busy getting married; thus, I was freaking out about THAT much more than the value of the numeral in the tens place of my age.  I think what cinched it was when I realized that I have known Mollee for longer than I didn't, and the year of equality was around six years ago.  It also didn't help when I realized that my mom was teaching me how to drive when she was my age...she was so much younger than I realized at the time. 

Mercifully, I had some truly superb distractions to lessen the blow.  Like...

Seurat got the idea from JON.  That was us; only instead of Sunday, it was Saturday, and instead of monkeys, there were ducks.  It was a beautiful day for a picnic, even if the ducks did perplex Gabriel somewhat.   I wish I remembered to bring my camera--it was a cool park that had the next best thing to the Teacups ride outside of Disneyland...yes, I giggled like an idiot.  It was awesome.

And later....

We went to the Aggie game with Mollee and Dave, whose family really knows how to party, by the way.  Also, sneak good food into a stadium.  We're talking hot chili and buffalo wings, not just cookies.  Although there were cookies (there I go, focusing on the concessions again).  Jon made sure we were all decked out in Aggie gear--I like to wear the big "A" because it's not just my last initial, it's my grades.  Heh. Heh heh.  Heh.

While there, Dave coerced Jon into showing team spirit by throwing one of our children into the air every time the Aggies scored, and not just once...once for each point scored.  I wish I had a picture of it, but I was too busy not looking for fear that my kid would be dropped on the concrete.  Ethan, however, was a sport and reenacted the moment for me:

Ethan, the daredevil, thought it was great fun; Elijah, not so much.  He blocked it from his memory, but I think his reenactment would look more like this:

Speaking of Mollee and Dave, Mollee is a good friend, even if she DID decide a few years ago that I should collect pink flamingos and got everyone else to go along with it, resulting in several years' worth of pink flamingo gifts and one poor family consistently being targeted by the Lawn Ranger, whose calling card was an unexpected pair of flamingos on the front lawn.  Huh.  I need bring that guy back.  That was fun.  Anyways, Mollee decided that I need experience another level of classy, so she got me...

A.  PINK. SNUGGIE.

Thanks, Moll!  Now I'm ready to join another cult!  Elijah is quite thrilled to have a snuggie buddy.  The great thing about my snuggie is that not only do I NOT have to fuss about how to keep the use of my hands whilst using a blanket (HARD!), but mine is a second gen iSnuggie, and features the following design modification:

A pocket. In fact, there are TWO pockets, because everyone knows they work in pairs.

You know how exciting it is to find that forgotten twenty in the dryer?  Think of the joy when I find that cupcake I forgot about, especially if I find it while I'm at a sporting event with my fellow cult members.  It'll be like Christmas in September!  It's the gift that keeps on giving!

Except I think I'm going to go raid my stash right now...

Thanks for all the birthday wishes...and if you want to hear a funny joke, call Macey.  She's practically Brian Regan.

Peace out.

I hope he or she chokes on it!

I'm trying REALLY hard to be a) positive, b) Christlike, and c) not an emotional wreck.

I'm trying, but I'm going to be honest...I think I'm failing miserably.  Or failing really well.  I guess it depends on how you look at it.

On Saturday, I move into a different age bracket.  Grrrrr.  Also, my driver's license expires.  I love my current driver's license.  It features a picture where I don't look like a bloated, red-eyed mutant monster freak (it was a rough morning at the driver's license division).

Apparently, to borrow an expression from today's Cake Wrecks, "once my driver's license expires, I could have been born ANYWHERE" and I needed to bring a copy of my birth certificate to prove that while I may be unbalanced, I'm an unbalanced AMERICAN. For the love.  So my wonderful mom, who is apparently STILL having to take care of me--even though I'm entering an age bracket that NOT ONLY results in great auto insurance rates, but my next pregnancy will be high risk--anyways, Mom had to dig through who knows what to find my birth certificate.  Which she did, because she is awesome like that.  Because, again, once my driver's license expires, I could have been born anywhere. 

I choose Fiji, and I'm going home, because apparently having a LAMINATED birth certificate ALSO means I could have been born anywhere.  What kind of backwards, terrorist-funding country lets their citizens laminate documents they want to last a lifetime?  Not the USA!  Here, we pay $17, get stuff notarized, and wait 6-8 weeks when we want to prove that we are law-abiding, naturally-born citizens, and we do it with natural fibers, unencumbered by unholy polymers!  Countries that let people laminate their documents probably also let their women learn to read, and that can't be allowed (mostly because when women can read and write, they end up splattering hormone-fueled rage all over the internet.).

Deep breath.

I hope today gets better from here on out, because YESTERDAY Jon lost his thumb drive.  The thumb drive that has the research he spent July gathering in three different Eastern states.  He left it in the USU library, and I hope the punk that decided to keep it (instead of turning it in at the front desk or something) gets a virus that pops up the Rick Rolled video every time he/she types the word "the," and it can't be stopped until the WHOLE VIDEO PLAYS.   See how I'm not being very Christlike today?  The killer is, I would have GLADLY given the kid $20 to buy his own thumb drive, but NOOOOO, now we have to fly Jon back to Pittsburg/Wheeling for a week so he can reenact July (which will be like playing the minute waltz in fifteen seconds), and OH YEAH, he can't really get started on his thesis until he gets back because he needs the information he lost, which is a whole 'nuther headache.  So the $20 thumb drive that kid pocketed has already cost us $400 (I'm not going to discuss how we produced that magic cow), and we haven't even paid for the two star hotel yet.  I really hope s/he needs it and isn't using it for downloaded porn and pirated music.  GRRRRRRRRR!

Deep breath.

I need to think some happy thoughts, and about more than the pumpkin/chocolate chip loaf that my friend dropped off last night.

(Here's the part where I force myself to look on the bright side, even though I really just want to fume and stew and plot revenge on Unnamed Aggie Thief, but that isn't good for my attitude or my blood pressure.)

--we are healthy
--we are fed
--we are sheltered
--if this is the worst we have to deal with this week, we are really quite blessed, because it isn't insurmountable, it will just take time, and we pulled together the means to deal with the problem.  Literally, thank heaven.

Deep breath.

Something good will come of this, I know, but right now I think I'm doing a pretty good imitation of Gabriel when I give him bananas instead of goldfish crackers at snack time.

Aaaaaaand...drowning my frustration in chocolate will commence in 5...4...3...2..NOW!

You're not dying, you just can't think of anything good to do!

So Elijah woke up this morning, and was all

Not really.  Jon and I (mostly me; it makes Jon cringe, but he goes along with it) have a one-per-year-complimentary Mental Health Day policy at our house, and Elijah took advantage of it today.  I figure, I'd rather that he be honest with me and that he not start the day curled up in a ball licking his palms in order to get a few hours of down time.  As a result, he gets a brief reprive from third grade; I get to hang out with the funniest eight-year-old on the planet for a few extra hours.  It's been a mostly boring day, with a few exceptions....

(as I type, he's playing Lego Star Wars and humming the Star Wars Imperial March to himself because I made him turn down the volume so I could hear the baby moniter better.  hee hee.)

1.  We went to Smith's, where I had him in a complete panic that his principal would go there to get his lunch and catch him ditching school.  It was HYSTERICAL when the guy checking price/inventory/whatever with a scanner made the scanner start beeping in an ominous way--I told Elijah to hide behind the cart because the beeping was a scanner looking for kids who should be in school and it was ON TO HIM!  He ducked behind the cart like it was a bomb shelter and a nuke had just been popped.  hee hee.

"I did not achieve this position in life by having some snot-nosed punk leave my cheese out in the wind."

2.  As we were walking to the car (and I kept telling him to hide because I saw his teacher--and the poor kid kept buying it...), he was having a little train of thought that had me in stitches.  Keep in mind that the following was pretty much stream-of-thought:

Elijah:  "Meegan, if you're kissing someone and they have an Adam's apple, you're kissing a boy, so always check for an Adam's apple so you don't accidentally kiss a boy."

Meegan:  "Unless you're a girl and you WANT to kiss a boy."

Elijah:  (worriedly) "hmmmm....how can you check to make sure it's not a girl?  OH!!!  They have BOOBS!!!!" (pensively) "Unless they had them chopped off..."

Meegan:  laughs hysterically

And this didn't technically happen today, but it does involve Elijah and it's equally hysterical...I asked Lije to watch Gabriel so I could get dinner ready.  Gabe was in his high chair, and Elijah proceeded to demonstrate a history of warfare for him, beginning in the Stone Age and ending with Armageddon.  For a prop, he used the unbelievably large squash that our friends gave us.  Here Elijah is, recreating World War I; that's a machine gun he's carrying:

LOCK N LOAD!

Then he moved on to World War II and the grenade launcher....I wish I could have recorded the sounds...

AND THEN...I was checking his homework folder, and I found....THIS:

In case it's too small to read, that says:

Guy on Right:  Who are you?

Guy on Left:  Death, fool!

Guy on Right:  O-no!

Guy on Left:  It's bed time!

I think I can sum today up thusly:

And now, Elijah and I are going to steal someone's lunch reservations.  And maybe start a dance party.  Be jealous of us, but don't end up in the police station making out with Charlie Sheen.

As you were.

I may be last, but I finished!

No, Elise, you aren't the last person to finish Mockingjay...that would be ME.  But I will keep this spoiler-free in case Lisa isn't done yet...

I've decided I reeeeeally like Suzanne Collins.  I think she has a gift for seeing things like they are and then being honest about it. 

She dead-on nailed the reality of glowy-box-addicted children whose world is destroyed when the power goes out (have I mentioned I LOVE Charlie McButton?  And not just because we have the EXACT.  SAME.  TIME OUT.  CHAIR.). 

I  think she got pretty close to what happens to people when they are put into horrible situations (I can't say I know, because I've led a sheltered life and have always had other people to do the ugly fighting for me, for which I an grateful).  Also/Unfortunately, she's got a wicked ability to portray teenage whininess/woe-is-me/lovelornitude.  Which is annoying.  But true to the character in question.  Who is an annoying whiner.

I loved Mockingjay for all the reasons it seems to be getting slammed.

1.  It doesn't have a happily ever after.  Yeah, war tends to be like that, even if you win.

2.  Katniss actually picked a guy.  Take note, Stephanie Meyer.  It is not necessary to create improbable vampire/human hybrids to tie up a lose end, just solid characterizations.  And a backbone.  And while I'm on this rant, if Collins had written Harry Potter, she would have killed the Weasley dad in book five, not backed down under publisher pressure.  Because it proved the situation was serious, even though he did have a last name (points if you get that reference).  Oh yeah!  And Harry would have died, because THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DESTROY A HORCRUX!  (not that I mind them both surviving; it is a kids book, after all, and kids deserve some happily ever after while they can get it).

3.  There is no black and white.  Only Sith deal in absolutes (and apparently Jedi...mwah ha ha ha ha).  The muddled gray that the rest of us exist in is why there are good stories to be told in the first place (note the qualifier).  Even the Dread Pirate Roberts wasn't all bad, and the heavens wept when Lucifer fell...

4.  It was violent.  THIS WAS A SURPRISE?  Did the people complaining about this even READ the first two books?????  It's not like they were chained to a chair and forced to read them.  For the love!  If the violence appalled you, put it down.  Go read a fairy tale.  Just not the original Grimm fairy tales...those were pretty horrific.  Maybe go watch a Disney movie and complain about the subliminal messages.  You know, the ones other than, "go spend an obscene amount of money on our over-priced licensed character merchandise."  OK, I didn't necessarily LIKE the violence, but I liked the story, and it was necessary.  Kind of like I liked the bad guys getting DESTROYED by Liam Nissan in Taken.  They needed killing, and apparently I don't have a problem with vigilante justice (says the girl who freaks out when Jon parks in the Employee of the Week spot at WalMart).


Whoa...I think I'm a little toooo wrapped up in this.  I think I need Elise to remind me that it's just a book...it's not real...but holy crow can the above-mentioned authors write a story that holds your attention...

And, Elise...you noticed an out of place period on page 357?  You should be an English teacher!  I was too busy trying to keep track of my favorite victor (hint:  NOT Katniss.  It starts with "fuh" and ends with "innick.").  I admire your attention to detail.  Now, where did I leave my baby?...