Friday, July 15, 2011

Warning: word vomit ahead

Things I learned yesterday:

1.  Just because you're married DOESN'T mean your spouse will automatically be told if you are, say, still in seeing your OB/GYN a week and a half before your planned delivery.  Even if he is your listed emergency contact, IHC will refuse to provide him with any information about you...which begs the question: what happens in the case of an emergency, like, say, a car accident?  If he shows up randomly at the ER looking for me, is he out of luck?  Do I rot, unconscious and alone, in a hospital room because I didn't give verbal or written permission for them to talk to him?  My emergency contact?  And speaking of permission, after six years of being treated by IHC facilities and providers, why was YESTERDAY the first time I saw or heard of the form to release information to my husband?  I'm a little irritated. 

2.  When your fetus has an erratic heartbeat during a fetal non stress test, your uber-careful obstetrician will bump your delivery up.  To today/Friday.  You will have to fight to schedule it on Monday, and that will only work when you play the "I need to arrange childcare" card and promise to come in if ANYTHING SEEMS WRONG AT ALL, since he's on call this weekend anyways.  Man, it BITES being in multiple high risk groups.

On the up side, you will have a VERY detailed ultrasound done and will get to see her "breathe."  Also, glare at you in her sleep.  She has a mean glare.  It was awesome, and not just because I got visual confirmation that she is alive and well (she scored high on the biophysical whatever it was), but it was very reassuring to see her diaphragm moving and to be able to count her fingers and toes whilst waiting for her to move them.  In the end, we're going ahead with the early delivery because the paranoid parts of me agree with the doc, and she's probably much better off out of my hostile diabetic womb than inside it, even if it is two weeks early (or four, depending on how you look at it).

At any rate, as most of you know, my scheduled delivery has been bumped from the 25th to the 18th...which is...lemme see...THREE DAYS AWAY.  Mercifully, we are mostly ready, physically at least.  Mentally, probably not so much.  I think my doc takes perverse pleasure in springing things like that on me.  He did it with Gabriel (On a Monday:  "What are you doing Thursday?  How about having this baby?"), and he did it AGAIN with this one, EVEN THOUGH I tried to beat him to the punch and we had already scheduled for the 25th.   And now...my to-do list for this weekend has changed DRAMATICALLY.  I need to...


1.  Clean the fridge for the first time in...a long time...so I can refill it with non-science-experimenty food for us to survive on next week.  Also, so I won't gross out Elizabeth, my SiL, if she ends up saving our bacon because labor goes long and I need someone to stay with Gabriel overnight.  Curse the mirror Alfreds (our Gabriel sitters) for having the audacity to have a life and leave town.  Sheesh.  They totally should have predicted this.  For revenge, on Monday night, I'm eating all the brownies they left out on their counter.  That'll show them! (Just kidding, guys.  I'm not upset.  But I AM going to hose those brownies, and there's nothing you can do about it.  MWAH HA HA HA HA!)



2.  Tease Jon because he nested.  This morning, he set up the bassinet.  And then--I kid you not--he flapped his arms like bird wings as he left the room.

3.  Sleep.

4.  Sleep some more.

Anyhoo, we'll keep you posted.  It's likely that I'll be scheduled for early in the morning because of the whole "medical necessity" thing (finally, a PERK!).  I'm sure there will be texts and facebook posts galore (facepalm!).  Feel free to call...I promise that if it's not a good time, I just won't answer the phone.

ALSO:  now accepting bets as to weight/time of birth.  Winner gets...something cool.  Maybe naming rights? Warning:  if anyone predicts a c-section, I will go crazy on them as only a hormone-controlled pregnant woman can.  You have been warned!

OH!  OH! OH!  For those of you who, like me, get spotty facebook updates, I have to share this with the world:
"Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." -A. Einstein
 Which I realized when I watched one of "my" kids with a massive learning disability scurry up a climbing wall like a lizard, leaving the "genius" kids in the dust.  I love that quote, even if it turns out that it comes from Alicia Einstein, not Albert  Einstein.

2 comments:

  1. Really? Alicia? I guess if my name were Alicia Einstein I would go with the abbreviation as well.

    Monday, Monday...dah dah, dah dah dah dah...so good to me...Monday, Monday, it was all I hoped it would beeee...(this song has been stuck in my head ever since I received your mass text yesterday).

    My guess is: 7 lb 15 oz, 21 inches, middle name: Brigid.

    And those are all of my dumb comments.

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  2. This is a good day. It's my mom's birthday. I guess 6 lbs 9 oz. She's early...she should be small!
    I'm glad you're eating the brownies...if I hadn't taken all the rest of the junk food, I would tell you where to find it!

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