I can't make this stuff up!

Ethan's class is working on persuasive essays.

CURSE YOU, STATE CORE CURRICULUM!!!!!

Ethan ALREADY has lawyer-like argumentative tendencies.  This is like throwing gas on a fire.  He has been given PERMISSION TO ARGUE.

Ethan just spent fifteen minutes passionately defending his belief that school uniforms are Of The Devil.

First, he gave me the standard set of arguments:

1.  Expense
2.  It won't really stop bullying
3.  It destroys individuality.  You know, the right to express your uniqueness by dressing just like everyone else.

When that still didn't convince me (GASP!), he pulled out his Big Gun.  He saved it for last.

Drum roll, please.

No.  Really.  Drum roll!

(imagine this said in one breath)

WHAT IF YOU'RE WEARING A TIE AND YOU'RE STANDING IN FRONT OF AN OPEN WINDOW AND THE WINDOW CRASHES CLOSED, CREATING A GUST OF WIND THAT SUCKS THE TIE UNDER THE CLOSING WINDOW AND CHOKES YOU AND BREAKS THE WINDOW!

(gasp for air)

Well, that changes everything.

No school uniforms for the Alfreds.

Or capes.

I love my boys...