They're BAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAACK

The boys came home on Monday.  YAY!!!!!

This means that they got to meet Jamie.

Ethan and Jamie

Elijah and Jamie

Funny story:  on Monday, Jon posted a link to a video on Facebook that featured teenage boys dressed as "superheroes" launching aerial fireworks at each other and attempting to block them with cardboard "shields."  Idiots.  Anyhoo, Jon thought it was funny and showed it to me...with Ethan watching over my shoulder.  Ethan, Mr. Prepubescent Low Wisdom Score...who thought shooting fireworks at other people was The.  Best.  Idea.  Ever.  Ladies and gentlemen, if Ethan and/or his friends end up in the ER with injuries from aerial fireworks...I BLAME THIS DAY.  And Jon.  (April and Josh, please let your children continue to play with ours.  We promise to watch them closely.)

Tuesday morning, I/we unpacked their luggage.  Yes, there was the obligatory dirty and wet clothing (one day, I will not call Jon to rant whilst unpacking the boys' luggage), but there was also...a dead animal.

One of these things has no business going through airport security, especially since I had to throw away my menacing bottle of AquaFina and watch them do extensive chemical tests (complete with some kind of dip stick) on Gabriel's formula.  There is no justice.

Hint:  it's the brown one, and it still had "hairs."  I had no idea that sand dollars need styling product.  Regardless, I got to unpack the marine version of a corpse because, you see, sand dollars aren't pristine white until...well, until the flesh has completely decomposed and they dry out.  Until then, they smell.  Really bad.  And are surprisingly flexible.  And unsurprisingly gross.  Moving on.

Wednesday was Elijah's first day of TACKLE football.

See the kid in front of the coach in the white shirt?  Number 21?  He's huge, so obviously he was put on the defensive line, where he repeatedly pushed his opponent down the field at his leisure.  It was like watching the scene from the Blindside when Michael drove that obnoxious kid clear down the field and over the fence. I'm glad he's on Elijah's team for obvious reasons. 

On Thursday, we registered Ethan for middle school.  Overall, it wasn't a negative experience...until we got to his locker.  Those lockers were HUGE, as they are intended to be shared by two students and have to accommodate two students' worth of Hoth Winter Gear.  I felt like the worst parent ever, because my knee jerk reaction to seeing those lockers was...great.  Nelson the bully won't even have to exert himself to shove Ethan in that sucker.  Then, being the twisted family that we are, we decided that if ANYONE is going to shove Ethan into a locker, it's going to be US.

Heartless Gabriel, slamming the door.

And, if we're going to scar one boy, we might as well finish the job and warp the other two:

On the Jamie front, Thursday marked Jamie's one month birthday.  To celebrate, I took another picture to give all y'all a sense of perspective:

She may still be in newborn clothes, but she's grown quite a bit.  See?

Nutella doesn't lie.  Plus, you can see how much taller she is in comparison to the background pattern.  I'm telling you, she was a MUNCHKIN when she was born. 

And, last but CERTAINLY not least, I've tried to work the following picture in for the last three posts, but it just hasn't worked out.  So, to get it out of my system, here you go:

Really, there was a reason.  I just couldn't get into the groove to finish the posts.

Enjoy.