(who don't get too mad when I mess with their birthday presents)
And some more cousins and grandparents....
Although my mom has been somewhat useless lately,
mostly complaining about smells and how she wishes she could just throw up already
Thank heavens for Dad, who is the only reason I have clean bottles or pajamas these days...
Dad says that eventually my teeth will come in and I'll stop drooling like a faucet and screaming in pain at two in the morning, which sounds pretty good. In the meantime, remember that in addition to being ridiculously cute like my brothers, I really like dogs.
My mom has a great eye for decorating. She ALSO has the disgusting ability to skillfully execute her ideas...at least, it's disgusting to those of us still trying (and failing) to tie bows that don't come out looking like snarls.
(Explanation of the bow irritation: I'm in charge of the PTA bulletin board at school, and it took me FOREVER to tie a bow for the present on the Christmas board...and in the end it was mostly just stapled to ***look*** like a bow. But I digress.)
Back on track. I didn't inherit Mom's mad skills. I can't arrange flowers or decorate cakes, and I DEFINITELY can't tie a decorative bow. I didn't get her cute nose and perfect toes, either..curse you, FrankenToes!!!!
So life's pretty good. We decorated the tree tonight. I think I stress too much about things that aren't very important. For example, I'm kinda bothered that our tree clearly illustrates the theme, "A Toddler Lives Here," as seen below:
If you look carefully, you can CLEARLY see just how far Gabriel can reach. For those of you who can't, here's a helpful photo edit (please note the tree is currently bow-free. I haven't finished wrestling with the new blue and silver snarls. I mean bows):
We didn't even finish decorating before I gave up on the pipe dream that I would be able to keep Gabriel away from the shiny stuff. But now that I've had time to bemoan my tree (yeah...shallow), I've decided that I would far rather have a toddler-friendly (if slightly goofy-looking) tree and a Gabriel than a beautiful tree with no Gabriel. So things balance out. Besides, it's not just Gabriel who wreaks havoc on our Christmas decorations. For example:
It's a Jurassic Christmas!
Those poor villagers...MWAH HA HA HA HA!
In other news, Jon and I have taken to torturing the boys, at least to hear them tell it. OH YEAH! It's all part of our intricate plot to lighten Santa's payload this year:
I only WISH that was a staged picture...they were literally bracing themselves to choke down dinner. Granted, it was tomato soup, but still...har har har, you're welcome!
To sum things up:
1. Mom, you are amazingly talented. Also, thanks for being so patient with all of us Tree Destroyers, as I'm sure this isn't a unique occurrence.
2. Living with little boys is hysterical. You just have to take Ferris Bueller's advice: life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop to look around once in a while, you could miss it.
Trust me, the camera DIDN'T do justice to the level of noise they were producing. But they were happy and, with any luck, helping Gabriel burn some energy so he'll go to bed before midnight. Most importantly, they are proof that it's possible to have healthy and happy blended families.
Peace out!
PS--You know what's a pleasant surprise? Turning around to yell at some weirdo lady messing with your baby in the check out line at WalMart, only to find out it was Maggie/Kat. I have family in Logan--YAY!!!!
Being awesome. And interviewed by various newspaper-type people for special interest pieces.
We (by "we," I mean "he," but since I edit his papers, I'm sticking with "we") are also starting to submit applications for various PhD programs...the first was sent this very weekend to Texas A&M, otherwise know as "the Aggies with a good football team." Texas A&M is located in the thriving metropolis of College Station, TX, which is found in--and I know this thanks to Google Maps--Texas. Kind of by Houston. Also Waco.
We (heh heh) are also applying at Ohio State (in Columbus), Kansas State (in Manhattan...no, not that one, the LITTLE one. In Kansas.), and a school in Tennessee that is a late addition and, as a result, I don't know it's name. I think it might be in Nashville. But, no matter how you look at it, our days in Utah are numbered, because I am going to be optimistic about Jon being accepted AND funded...he tends to be both more self-deprecating AND pessimistic.
After careful research, I've compiled this list of facts to help in our decision making process:
Texas A&M
PROS: it's warm; it has THREE state mammals: large, small, and flying. For your information, they are: Texas longhorn, armadillo, free-tailed bat. I bet every kid on a soccer team gets a trophy, too (although that's a con, if you ask me).
CONS: It's no longer the largest state. Stupid Alaska. Although I think its probably big enough to keep Ethan and Elijah far enough away from each other to prevent fighting. Probably.
Kansas State
PROS: It's the home of the first chain restaurant, the Harvey House, which inspired the movie "Harvey Girls" starring Liza Minnelli, who uttered the famous line, "I'm waiting for a man to swoop down like a chicken hawk and carry me away."
CONS: A house might drop on me; it's illegal to shoot rabbits from a motorboat (and everyone knows that rabbits are the terrors of the high seas).
Ohio State
PROS: I'd be close to Lisa (this counts as about 500 "pros")
KHAAAAAAAAAAN! (snicker): It's in Columbus, which is the Ogden of Ohio, as nearly as I can tell.
The school in Tennessee, which Jon (after looking over my shoulder) informed me is the University of Tennesse (Knoxville)
PROS: It's relatively close to Lisa (especially compared to Utah), having to hear "y'all" every other sentence (I thought Jon should have some input)
CONS: humidity, having to hear "y'all" every other sentence (Jon is wrong)
In the end, we'll go wherever the Lord leads us (by way of funding) and everything will work out for our good. After all, I really DIDN'T want to move to Logan, and now we LOVE it here, and find ourselves hoping that Jon magically gets hired on here so we can stay...so, SEE how the Lord knows what's best for us?
Regardless, keep your fingers crossed for us...and I'm sure everyone will hear where we end up as soon as we know...in March. ARGH, I hate waiting.
And so you know, Jon did a GREAT job at the museum.
Is it just me, or does that title sound like some crazy street name for a drug?
Moving on. The alternate title for this post is "Halloween, part 4," because like the horror movies of the same name, Halloween this year NEVER SEEMS TO END, although the events chronicled in this post are much less terror-inspiring, unless you are filled with horror by cow dung on your shoes.
(This post will be mostly pictures because that will save me many thousands of words.)
Jon and I decided to try something different with the Halloween candy this year. Usually, we are Candy Nazis...which is great until you realize that their Halloween candy runs out about the time it's replaced by Christmas stocking, which runs out about the time that it's replaced by Easter basket...candy year round! Ugh. So this year, we're trying the "OD for a few days" candy theory. For Ethan, that looks like this:
A sucker or two during homework. Very controlled, no noticeable sugar crash a few hours later. His candy will STILL be around on Christmas. Elijah, on the other hand, looks like this:
Can you SEE the crazy sugar rush going on there? Yeah. His candy has been pretty well picked over already.
Gabriel, obviously, doesn't have this problem (yet)...his eating habits learn towards other issues:
Related story: in addition to the word "doggie," Gabriel learned that when he says "doggie" while in his high chair, Dharma will come over and conveniently finish off any unwanted food. Again I say, everything's cute the first time. Including this...
..unless you're Ethan, who was trying to take a private shower on the other side of the door. He wasn't too thrilled that Gabriel learned how to open a closed door. I won't be tomorrow, either, I imagine...
But enough about food. Today, the mirror-Alfreds invited us to the pumpkin blow. (heh heh heh).
This is me following them while they followed another family from our ward who didn't know the fastest way to get there:
See those names on the sign? Yeah, those are towns in IDAHO. We went to IDAHO for PUMPKIN BLOW. (OK, I don't know why I think that's so funny. Also, I don't know why I can't get this text to be right justified, but I give up on that one.)
This is a train we passed while wandering around looking for the pumpkin blow.
This is Gabriel wishing I would quit being distracted by passing dust motes and/or trains and pay attention to the road.
When we finally found the pumpkin blow (snicker), this is what we saw.
Dozens, possibly hundreds, of people surrounding a field, at the center of which was a huge pile of past-their-prime jack-o'-lanterns and a very manly rancher-type guy who actually said the following, loosely quoted:
"Welcome to the pumpkin blow. We don't advertise, cuz we don't want no government interference."
Then the manly rancher-type shot a rifle at the pumpkin pile, and...
Well, the pile...it BLEW. Sorry I didn't get the moment of explosion; the dynomite exploding was rather loud and I was trying to cover Gabey's ears. But I did get this shot:
Elijah and mirror-Elijah standing in the hole created by the exploding TNT. Not too shabby, eh? Neither is this:
Elijah realizing that he's standing in more than just blown up pumpkin. Mwah ha ha ha ha. For those of you wondering where Ethan was, the answer is "sick at home with Jon." The poor kid religiously takes vitamin C drops, and he's the only one who ever gets sick. Now that's irony.
All in all, the pumpkin blow was highly entertaining, although it did leave me craving a Twinkie (snicker...oooo...Snickers...that sounds good, too...). Anyhoo, if you're ever in rural Idaho and manage to escape the compound, I recommend it.
Before I go, a gratuitous baby picture:
How. Cute. Are. They. Also cute: Gabriel coloring on the walls, but only because it was the first time. Tomorrow, not so much. Thank heavens for the magic eraser...
And one more:
Now we call him Lurch.
And if you're looking for another blog to stalk, try this one--it's mirror-Jon's. It's interactive...and how often do you get to tell a blogger what to write?
Jon made his famous flaming pumpkins, terrifying the neighbors and instigating this conversation yet again. This year, however, Jon and Elijah unwittingly carved pumpkins to represent the both of us; I'll let you guess who's who:
Note the highly flammable weeds, err, cornstalks
Here's a wide shot of the driveway....
Note that the Montero is parked in the fire-ready position, albeit on the wrong side of the fire.
Sadly, it was raining, which put a damper on both the pumpkins and the trick or treaters...but not before the new French (really) neighbors stopped by to be amazed by the limitless American taste for shock and awe.
Fortunately, here in Mormondom, the uber-Christian holiday that is Halloween has been stretched out over three days. Because it falls on a Sunday. Am I the only one who sees the irony here??? Anyhoo, this meant the boys got to trunk or treat...then trick or treat...and then trick or treat AGAIN with their mother, who is in town this weekend. I'm done with Halloween, by the way...
At the trunk or treat: Yoda, Apollo, Skeletor. Obviously, not the blue one. A different one.
Look at Gabriel's hand. Now:
Gabriel: You want to take this stupid hat off of me.
Jon: I want to take this stupid hat off of you.
Gabriel: You want to wear the stupid hat.
Jon: I want to wear the stupid hat.
Gabriel: You don't mind if I sleep in your bed and kick you in the kidneys all night.
Jon: I don't mind if you sleep in my bed and kick me in the kidneys all night.
Let's see...what else happened this weekend....
Oh! I present to you....Gabriel's first word (outside of mama and dada):
A quick word of explanation: it took me about a zillion takes to figure out why my camera was, mysteriously, not focusing (answer: it was. on the supermacro level). At any rate, Gabriel was DONE telling us that Dharma is a doggie...hence the disgust as he turned away from Jon. In fact, I think that, had his spoken vocabulary been able to support it, his answer to Jon's question would have been more like, "It's a dog. Sheesh. I've told you that a thousand times. You guys are morons. I'm going to go read a book."
And now, I'm going to go play with the older boys, who just got back from spending the weekend with their mother (who had them steal pillowcases from the hotel she was staying at to trick or treat with. Because you can't get bags for a buck at WalMart. FACEPALM!).
And, apparently, work on my "charity for all men" and "unexpressed thoughts."
I found a new website that is officially one of my favorites. It's awkwardfamilyphotos.com. Here is some of its awesomeness:
It makes me feel better about my level of dork. We will not discuss the Halloween costume discussion I recently had with Ethan, but only say that Gabriel will be Yoda. I will NOT be going as a Jedi, even though the scale would be appropriate.
It took me a while to see what was so funny in this picture. Now I can't unsee it, and it's creeping me out. Hint: look around the mom, and know that this entry was titled, "Has anyone seen Aunt Teclia?"
“I recently photographed my sister-in-law’s wedding (my husband’s sister). I knew the window overlooked a part of the hotel’s roof, but I didn’t notice the workers until after I snapped a few pictures. When I got home and downloaded all the pictures, I couldn’t stop laughing when I saw this. Lucky for me she has a good sense of humor and allowed me to share it with you.”
I've decided to ignore my blogger's guilt and treat my blog like I do thank you notes: stop whipping myself for the ones I didn't write and vow to do better. And then blow it again inside of a month.
Sigh.
Being a typical Mormon woman, I can't completely ignore my Relief Society-induced "guilt over being human," so I'll give you the Reader's Digest version of the last few weeks' worth of blogs I didn't write.
1. Gabriel turned one. I didn't think you could get so dirty pincher-fingering a piece of cake, but there you go.
2. Ethan decided he wants to be a "cake maker because they make people happy." Kudos to Ethan for always wanting to make the world a better place, either through environmental awareness or not letting injustices pass unnoticed, especially if they favor Elijah. Where was I? CAKES!!! Ethan wants to make CAKES! I let Ethan make Gabey's birthday cake. It was his first gig...sadly for Ethan, it was all done pro bono:
3. Jon's birthday. He left the state so he could get some alone time, which is the only thing he ever asks for. Well, alone time and a non-scummy Super 8. Keep dreaming on both counts, buddy!
4. Judging by this picture, I think Elijah may have joined al-qaeda. He says he's a white ninja, but I just don't know....
Dear government watch dogs: he didn't REALLY join al qaeda. I just thought he looked like a terrorist in this picture. Which he is NOT. The only people who have to fear Elijah are the dads of the girls in his class.
The end for now. Check back soon to see how long I go before I abandon my resolution to keep my extended family better informed in favor of clean underwear.
As you all know, I entered that new age bracket yesterday. I have to admit, this one is freaking me out much more than the last one, but that's probably because the last time I hit a notable age milestone, I was busy getting married; thus, I was freaking out about THAT much more than the value of the numeral in the tens place of my age. I think what cinched it was when I realized that I have known Mollee for longer than I didn't, and the year of equality was around six years ago. It also didn't help when I realized that my mom was teaching me how to drive when she was my age...she was so much younger than I realized at the time.
Mercifully, I had some truly superb distractions to lessen the blow. Like...
Seurat got the idea from JON. That was us; only instead of Sunday, it was Saturday, and instead of monkeys, there were ducks. It was a beautiful day for a picnic, even if the ducks did perplex Gabriel somewhat. I wish I remembered to bring my camera--it was a cool park that had the next best thing to the Teacups ride outside of Disneyland...yes, I giggled like an idiot. It was awesome.
And later....
We went to the Aggie game with Mollee and Dave, whose family really knows how to party, by the way. Also, sneak good food into a stadium. We're talking hot chili and buffalo wings, not just cookies. Although there were cookies (there I go, focusing on the concessions again). Jon made sure we were all decked out in Aggie gear--I like to wear the big "A" because it's not just my last initial, it's my grades. Heh. Heh heh. Heh.
While there, Dave coerced Jon into showing team spirit by throwing one of our children into the air every time the Aggies scored, and not just once...once for each point scored. I wish I had a picture of it, but I was too busy not looking for fear that my kid would be dropped on the concrete. Ethan, however, was a sport and reenacted the moment for me:
Ethan, the daredevil, thought it was great fun; Elijah, not so much. He blocked it from his memory, but I think his reenactment would look more like this:
Speaking of Mollee and Dave, Mollee is a good friend, even if she DID decide a few years ago that I should collect pink flamingos and got everyone else to go along with it, resulting in several years' worth of pink flamingo gifts and one poor family consistently being targeted by the Lawn Ranger, whose calling card was an unexpected pair of flamingos on the front lawn. Huh. I need bring that guy back. That was fun. Anyways, Mollee decided that I need experience another level of classy, so she got me...
A. PINK. SNUGGIE.
Thanks, Moll! Now I'm ready to join another cult! Elijah is quite thrilled to have a snuggie buddy. The great thing about my snuggie is that not only do I NOT have to fuss about how to keep the use of my hands whilst using a blanket (HARD!), but mine is a second gen iSnuggie, and features the following design modification:
A pocket. In fact, there are TWO pockets, because everyone knows they work in pairs.
You know how exciting it is to find that forgotten twenty in the dryer? Think of the joy when I find that cupcake I forgot about, especially if I find it while I'm at a sporting event with my fellow cult members. It'll be like Christmas in September! It's the gift that keeps on giving!
Except I think I'm going to go raid my stash right now...
Thanks for all the birthday wishes...and if you want to hear a funny joke, call Macey. She's practically Brian Regan.
I'm trying REALLY hard to be a) positive, b) Christlike, and c) not an emotional wreck.
I'm trying, but I'm going to be honest...I think I'm failing miserably. Or failing really well. I guess it depends on how you look at it.
On Saturday, I move into a different age bracket. Grrrrr. Also, my driver's license expires. I love my current driver's license. It features a picture where I don't look like a bloated, red-eyed mutant monster freak (it was a rough morning at the driver's license division).
Apparently, to borrow an expression from today's Cake Wrecks, "once my driver's license expires, I could have been born ANYWHERE" and I needed to bring a copy of my birth certificate to prove that while I may be unbalanced, I'm an unbalanced AMERICAN. For the love. So my wonderful mom, who is apparently STILL having to take care of me--even though I'm entering an age bracket that NOT ONLY results in great auto insurance rates, but my next pregnancy will be high risk--anyways, Mom had to dig through who knows what to find my birth certificate. Which she did, because she is awesome like that. Because, again, once my driver's license expires, I could have been born anywhere.
I choose Fiji, and I'm going home, because apparently having a LAMINATED birth certificate ALSO means I could have been born anywhere. What kind of backwards, terrorist-funding country lets their citizens laminate documents they want to last a lifetime? Not the USA! Here, we pay $17, get stuff notarized, and wait 6-8 weeks when we want to prove that we are law-abiding, naturally-born citizens, and we do it with natural fibers, unencumbered by unholy polymers! Countries that let people laminate their documents probably also let their women learn to read, and that can't be allowed (mostly because when women can read and write, they end up splattering hormone-fueled rage all over the internet.).
Deep breath.
I hope today gets better from here on out, because YESTERDAY Jon lost his thumb drive. The thumb drive that has the research he spent July gathering in three different Eastern states. He left it in the USU library, and I hope the punk that decided to keep it (instead of turning it in at the front desk or something) gets a virus that pops up the Rick Rolled video every time he/she types the word "the," and it can't be stopped until the WHOLE VIDEO PLAYS. See how I'm not being very Christlike today? The killer is, I would have GLADLY given the kid $20 to buy his own thumb drive, but NOOOOO, now we have to fly Jon back to Pittsburg/Wheeling for a week so he can reenact July (which will be like playing the minute waltz in fifteen seconds), and OH YEAH, he can't really get started on his thesis until he gets back because he needs the information he lost, which is a whole 'nuther headache. So the $20 thumb drive that kid pocketed has already cost us $400 (I'm not going to discuss how we produced that magic cow), and we haven't even paid for the two star hotel yet. I really hope s/he needs it and isn't using it for downloaded porn and pirated music. GRRRRRRRRR!
Deep breath.
I need to think some happy thoughts, and about more than the pumpkin/chocolate chip loaf that my friend dropped off last night.
(Here's the part where I force myself to look on the bright side, even though I really just want to fume and stew and plot revenge on Unnamed Aggie Thief, but that isn't good for my attitude or my blood pressure.)
--we are healthy
--we are fed
--we are sheltered
--if this is the worst we have to deal with this week, we are really quite blessed, because it isn't insurmountable, it will just take time, and we pulled together the means to deal with the problem. Literally, thank heaven.
Deep breath.
Something good will come of this, I know, but right now I think I'm doing a pretty good imitation of Gabriel when I give him bananas instead of goldfish crackers at snack time.
Aaaaaaand...drowning my frustration in chocolate will commence in 5...4...3...2..NOW!
Not really. Jon and I (mostly me; it makes Jon cringe, but he goes along with it) have a one-per-year-complimentary Mental Health Day policy at our house, and Elijah took advantage of it today. I figure, I'd rather that he be honest with me and that he not start the day curled up in a ball licking his palms in order to get a few hours of down time. As a result, he gets a brief reprive from third grade; I get to hang out with the funniest eight-year-old on the planet for a few extra hours. It's been a mostly boring day, with a few exceptions....
(as I type, he's playing Lego Star Wars and humming the Star Wars Imperial March to himself because I made him turn down the volume so I could hear the baby moniter better. hee hee.)
1. We went to Smith's, where I had him in a complete panic that his principal would go there to get his lunch and catch him ditching school. It was HYSTERICAL when the guy checking price/inventory/whatever with a scanner made the scanner start beeping in an ominous way--I told Elijah to hide behind the cart because the beeping was a scanner looking for kids who should be in school and it was ON TO HIM! He ducked behind the cart like it was a bomb shelter and a nuke had just been popped. hee hee.
"I did not achieve this position in life by having some snot-nosed punk leave my cheese out in the wind."
2. As we were walking to the car (and I kept telling him to hide because I saw his teacher--and the poor kid kept buying it...), he was having a little train of thought that had me in stitches. Keep in mind that the following was pretty much stream-of-thought:
Elijah: "Meegan, if you're kissing someone and they have an Adam's apple, you're kissing a boy, so always check for an Adam's apple so you don't accidentally kiss a boy."
Meegan: "Unless you're a girl and you WANT to kiss a boy."
Elijah: (worriedly) "hmmmm....how can you check to make sure it's not a girl? OH!!! They have BOOBS!!!!" (pensively) "Unless they had them chopped off..."
Meegan: laughs hysterically
And this didn't technically happen today, but it does involve Elijah and it's equally hysterical...I asked Lije to watch Gabriel so I could get dinner ready. Gabe was in his high chair, and Elijah proceeded to demonstrate a history of warfare for him, beginning in the Stone Age and ending with Armageddon. For a prop, he used the unbelievably large squash that our friends gave us. Here Elijah is, recreating World War I; that's a machine gun he's carrying:
LOCK N LOAD!
Then he moved on to World War II and the grenade launcher....I wish I could have recorded the sounds...
AND THEN...I was checking his homework folder, and I found....THIS:
In case it's too small to read, that says:
Guy on Right: Who are you?
Guy on Left: Death, fool!
Guy on Right: O-no!
Guy on Left: It's bed time!
I think I can sum today up thusly:
And now, Elijah and I are going to steal someone's lunch reservations. And maybe start a dance party. Be jealous of us, but don't end up in the police station making out with Charlie Sheen.
No, Elise, you aren't the last person to finish Mockingjay...that would be ME. But I will keep this spoiler-free in case Lisa isn't done yet...
I've decided I reeeeeally like Suzanne Collins. I think she has a gift for seeing things like they are and then being honest about it.
She dead-on nailed the reality of glowy-box-addicted children whose world is destroyed when the power goes out (have I mentioned I LOVE Charlie McButton? And not just because we have the EXACT. SAME. TIME OUT. CHAIR.).
I think she got pretty close to what happens to people when they are put into horrible situations (I can't say I know, because I've led a sheltered life and have always had other people to do the ugly fighting for me, for which I an grateful). Also/Unfortunately, she's got a wicked ability to portray teenage whininess/woe-is-me/lovelornitude. Which is annoying. But true to the character in question. Who is an annoying whiner.
I loved Mockingjay for all the reasons it seems to be getting slammed.
1. It doesn't have a happily ever after. Yeah, war tends to be like that, even if you win.
2. Katniss actually picked a guy. Take note, Stephanie Meyer. It is not necessary to create improbable vampire/human hybrids to tie up a lose end, just solid characterizations. And a backbone. And while I'm on this rant, if Collins had written Harry Potter, she would have killed the Weasley dad in book five, not backed down under publisher pressure. Because it proved the situation was serious, even though he did have a last name (points if you get that reference). Oh yeah! And Harry would have died, because THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DESTROY A HORCRUX! (not that I mind them both surviving; it is a kids book, after all, and kids deserve some happily ever after while they can get it).
3. There is no black and white. Only Sith deal in absolutes (and apparently Jedi...mwah ha ha ha ha). The muddled gray that the rest of us exist in is why there are good stories to be told in the first place (note the qualifier). Even the Dread Pirate Roberts wasn't all bad, and the heavens wept when Lucifer fell...
4. It was violent. THIS WAS A SURPRISE? Did the people complaining about this even READ the first two books????? It's not like they were chained to a chair and forced to read them. For the love! If the violence appalled you, put it down. Go read a fairy tale. Just not the original Grimm fairy tales...those were pretty horrific. Maybe go watch a Disney movie and complain about the subliminal messages. You know, the ones other than, "go spend an obscene amount of money on our over-priced licensed character merchandise." OK, I didn't necessarily LIKE the violence, but I liked the story, and it was necessary. Kind of like I liked the bad guys getting DESTROYED by Liam Nissan in Taken. They needed killing, and apparently I don't have a problem with vigilante justice (says the girl who freaks out when Jon parks in the Employee of the Week spot at WalMart).
Whoa...I think I'm a little toooo wrapped up in this. I think I need Elise to remind me that it's just a book...it's not real...but holy crow can the above-mentioned authors write a story that holds your attention...
And, Elise...you noticed an out of place period on page 357? You should be an English teacher! I was too busy trying to keep track of my favorite victor (hint: NOT Katniss. It starts with "fuh" and ends with "innick."). I admire your attention to detail. Now, where did I leave my baby?...
Relevant fact number one: Jon worked REALLY hard last year. As in, had four jobs concurrently and went to school full time hard, and had some very NOT COOL things happen in terms of thesis committee and proposal and such, but he took it like a trooper and was awarded a scholarship AND a tuition waiver. My man is awesome. Did I mention he's going to be published? Yep, awesome!
Relevant fact number two: the NFL hasn't entered the 20th century. Heck, I want to shout, "Welcome to the nineties, Mr. Bonks!" every time Jon tries to find a way to watch games (even after the fact) online. You can pay to hear the radio announcer version, but we already tried that and it was lame. Apparently, there's just something about huge men chasing a tiny ball up and down a field that loses something when you take out the visual element.
Relevant fact number three: its the time of year when college students flood this town, and there are a TON of "deals" to be had.
When you put all the facts together, what you get is me, sitting around waiting for the cable guy to show up and flip a switch. Which takes two hours, by the way. Not the waiting, the switch flipping. Hmpf. AND THEN, while the helpful cable installer is showing me how to use a remote control (this is necessary? I weep for the future!), I was INSTANTLY reminded why I strong-armed Jon into getting rid of cable in the first place: there is a ton of garbage on TV.
NFL, you better be exciting this year, because I feel like I sold my soul for you.
But then I realized I should come down off my Rameumpton, because--thanks to NetFlix--I do spend an ungodly amount of time in front of the TV (but my laundry is ALWAYS folded). In fact, the last five TV shows I watched were:
1. Bones. David Boreanaz. Yum. Oh wait, I mean...I love the mystery! And the dark comedic undertones!
2. Say Yes to the Dress. Those women make me feel stable and not crazy, contrary to what my daily behavior might indicate.
3. Hannah Montana Forever. No comment. I wish I could blame this one on the kids, but sadly...I can't. (I also like the Wizards of Waverly Place)
4. The Backyardigans. Gabriel LOVES the music.
5. The Cake Boss. In all honesty, it's not much better than the soap that gave me the willies today, but there were pretty cakes and I couldn't resist. I love cake...
And then I got wondering...what does that say about me? Surely my choices in music and books are more...enlightened.
FAT CHANCE. Just so you can feel better about yourself, here are my last five...
...Books:
1) Dragonhaven by Robin McKinley. Currently reading it. Not her best, but you can tell from her description of parenting a dragon that the author has definitely raised a kid or two. I laughed my head off at the...accurateness...of it. And I have to give her props for her writing skillz--her voice in this book is completely different from what I'm used to.
1.5) The newest Kindom Keepers book. I kinda lost interest, which was odd because I loved the other two...
2) The Cardturner by Louis Sachar. I liked Holes better, but it was good. I still don't get bridge, though.
3) Catching Fire. I liked it, but I hate the direction the main character is going. I'm just saying that someone as efficient at staying alive should spend less time whining. Go kill someone and call it good. Also, if the Gale/Peeta thing turns into another Edward/Jacob thing....I'M OUTTA HERE!!! Fun unrelated fact: Suzanne Collins ALSO wrote my FAVORITE CHILDREN'S BOOK OF ALL TIME, Charlie McButton. hee hee. I call Ethan Charlie McButton when he is slavering in front of the glowy box. It drives him crazy. hee hee.
4) The Memory Keeper's Daughter. Deep. Ress. Ing. On a variety of levels. I don't care if it's "thematically brilliant" or "touching." Don't touch me!
5) The Help. Good, but infuriating. I'll be honest...it has affected the way I look at the prop 8 thing, but that's all I'll say about that.
BONUS BOOK: (I'm going to skip all the pink dots I read at Lisa's house. Nicholas Sparks bites.) Nightlight by the Harvard Lampoon was every bit as well-written as the book it satirizes. Yeah. There. I said it.
And then there's music. The last five songs I listened to are:
1. Tainted Love by Soft Cell
2. Fallen by Chimera
3. Dr. Feelgood by Motley Crue
4. Wavin' Flag by K'naan (the original version, not the peppy World Cup one. Once you get past the excessive rhyming, I love it. But it does rhyme a lot.
5. Seether by Veruca Salt (angry girl music, Jon calls it...but HE'S the one who bought it)
I'll be honest...I considered fudging the music list a bit to make myself seem classier. Yeah...the last thing I listened to was...uummmm...Bach...yeah...the Cello Suites...yeah...
OK, I think we can sum this post up thusly:
1. I need to find better ways to spend my time.
2. Gabriel is finally getting secure enough let me put him down for more than five minutes.
3. Elise: tag, you're it. BE HONEST.
There is a huge, hairy spider hiding in a pair of Ice Age boxer briefs (size 8). I found it sorting laundry, and now I'm avoiding the white load. Shiver.
I'll admit it. I squealed and dropped the bungees like they were on fire.
In a nutshell (because Gabriel is being uncooperative), we spent the Fourth of July in Colorado Springs at the Alfred family reunion:
Jon and Gabriel with Gigi (Great Grandma Alfred, who is MUCH tougher than I am, at least judging by her ability to stand during church services)
Cousin death match! I question the ref's neutrality...
Gabriel and Grandpa Alfred
Because we were in Colorado, OF COURSE this is what happened on the Fourth of July, but that didn't stop Jon from...
We fish our waters, we till our soil, we barbecue on the Fourth of July!
Oma wins Gabriel's favor with a story
Then we were off to Cincinnati, which I STILL can't spell, so Jon could slave away (sucka!) in various libraries along the east coast while I played with the Kellys. Kellies? meh. Moving on.
Paige at Jiu Jitsu, showing her dad how it's done. Sidenote: Jim is very good with the kids. I was MOST impressed.
Maybe Gabriel won't instigate a Cousin Death Match after all...
